last night on the way home after our saturday date, he was asked me if i like that minimalist type of house. well, i don’t really have any ideal type of a house. a house, for me is enough with no one leave. no matter how far they go or what they’re going through, they will surely come back to where they belongs, home.
and when i answer his question, i stop at ‘well, i don’t really have any ideal type of a house’ -___- then again, for me some words are easier to be written than spoken. it’s kinda awkward to tell something like that directly to anyone, no?
After so many years observing people (and myself!) in the complicated game of love, I can say this: often times, you don’t fall in love with a person. You fall in love with something else.
Most often, people fall in love with their own imagination of the perfect man/woman. You meet somebody, you barely know him/her, and then you start imposing your own ideals of a soulmate onto the person. Problem begins when the illusion starts to shatter, and you start to see ‘the real him/her’. And tragically, you accuse the person of ‘having changed’ – although it was your own eyes which finally opened.
Often times, people fall in love not with a person, but a “way out”. You are feeling lonely, you just don’t want to be alone and miserable, and you see this person as a ‘solution’. Then, you are falling in love with the solution to your problem, not with a person.
Some people fall in love with “agenda”. You have made plans for your life: when to find a partner, when to get married, when to have children, etc. And then you see this person as the fulfilment of your life’s “Outlook calendar”. Again, you are falling in love with your life schedule, not with a person.
Some others fall in love with “therapy”. You were broken inside, you have mental scars, you have childhood trauma. And then you find this person whom you think can cure you. Then, you are falling in love with the therapy for your own soul illness, not with a person.
And few lucky ones, find that one person, see his/her true soul, and fall in love. Few lucky ones, fall in love, with a person.
“There’re things we keep hidden from one another. Things we hide from ourselves. Things that are kept hidden from us. And things no one knows. You always learn the damnedest things at the worst possible times.”—-Jim Butcher, Changes